Simian Design

March 1, 2004

How to write unmaintainable code

How To Write Unmaintainable Code, by Roedy Green, is a sure-fire way to guarantee yourself a lifetime of employment. The secret is to make sure all the code you write will be so difficult to maintain to anyone else, you're the only hope. Some favorite highlights: * "Buy a copy of a baby naming book and you'll never be at a loss for variable names. Fred is a wonderful name, and easy to type." * "Use constant names like LancelotsFavouriteColour instead of blue and assign it hex value of $0204FB." * "You don't have to actively lie, just fail to keep comments as up to date with the code. " * "Choose variable names with irrelevant emotional connotation. e.g.: marypoppins = (superman + starship) / god; This confuses the reader because they have difficulty disassociating the emotional connotations of the words from the logic they're trying to think about."

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Posted at 01:50 PM